Sin of the Week: Gluttony

The honeymoon is over, folks. And there hasn’t even been a wedding. 

Let me take a minute here to explain. I have an awesome companion in CJ. I could go on for pages, but will spare you. One detail, though, is that he is very tolerant of my moderate ban on junk food in our house. Sure we have one item of junk food now and then; I am not claiming to be the patron saint of health food or anything. But he actually eats tofu and fake meat and doesn’t mind when I sneak spinach, kale, or flaxseeds into almost everything I cook. And he doesn’t complain that with the exception of cat food, I could count on my fingers the number of times there has been meat in this apartment since we’ve lived here. 

Last night, though, he stopped trying to impress me. 

While completing our bi-weekly grocery shopping trip, he snuck hostess chocolate-covered donuts into our cart. I didn’t see them until we were checking out, because they were covered with the potato chips, the cheese curls (the first ingredient of which is vegetable oil), tortilla chips (“Scoops! I need Scoops” he uttered gleefully as he darted down the junk aisle) cheese dip (the BIG jar) for the tortilla chips, fish sticks, onion rings, chicken nuggets, townhouse crackers, and pepperoni. Call me a pretentious hippie if you want, but I would never be caught dead with all of that stuff in my kitchen.

His excuse? Super Bowl Sunday.  And I will be gone for it since I have to be at a conference in Columbus Sunday through Tuesday, so I won’t be there to make food for guests. Guests?  When I asked him why he needed so MUCH crap to eat in one day he said he was having company. Oh? Company? Enough to eat all of that? Yeah -two people. He is having a coworker and his wife come over to eat all of that. 

I have a strange feeling I am going to come home to him curled up on the floor with a stomachache and a satisfied smile.

The part they left out

As I watched inauguration coverage today, I kept waiting for Gene Robinson’s prayer… and I never saw it — I flipped between several channels, and don’t think it was actually aired anywhere. I just did a search for it though, and found this on youtube  and this transcript.  It’s really quite beautiful; you should read it. 

I am very, very tempted to point out that it is probably not a mistake that this was left out, and that if that is so I am irked by it  seriously pissed off.  He’s gay! He’s a bishop! Get over it! The whole mood of the day was supposed to be moving  forward. Maybe all of the networks collectively assumed that viewers would be so touched by images of the surviving Tuskegee Airmen and stories of hundred-year-old African American great-great grandmothers living to vote for a black man that we would excuse the exclusion of a highly-anticipated speaker. I am of course pleased that America has come this far, but people, please, this whole civil rights thing is not over, not resolved, and not going away. Don’t get complacent because we have a president of a racial minority. Discrimination is alive and well ugly as ever. 

Maybe sixty years from now we will be inaugurating a gay or lesbian president, and people will be tearfully sharing stories of decades ago when a gay bishop couldn’t pray on live TV…

Thoughts, 1/19/09… some political, some not.

I am so darn emotional about this inauguration. 

I am so thankful, though, that this year I am emotional in a hopeful sort of way, not a terrified sort of way. I recall feeling so dirty during both of Bush’s victorious election nights weeks months and inauguration days; it was so embarrassing and so frightening that this man had been handed control over our country and all that it stands for. 

This year though, not only are we replacing him, but we are replacing him with someone who has already mobilized more people to think about what our responsibilities as citizens are, someone who is actually more representative of what America means than any president in my lifetime, someone who I genuinely trust to get people to change. I am so, so  anxiously hopeful. 

I have no doubt that GWB had the best intentions for the US and for the world. I have no doubt that he felt he was making good decisions. However, I also have no doubt that he did not have the right sort of background, intelligence, or empathy (I am not saying he is unintelligent, just not the right KIND of intelligent, if you follow…) that a president of this country in our day and age needed. GWB  has been the catalyst in helping his followers work our country so far backward. It will be interesting to see over the next four (eight, hopefully) years how far forward Barack will be able to move us (or rather, get us to move ourselves). 

I keep praying for his family. I keep hoping that they will remain strong and be an inspiring model for other american families that so desperately need such an inspiration. 

*                          *                         *                           *                                      *      

On a very different  (but related) note, Barack has inspired me to read some new things. I’ve added some writings of Lincoln to my reading queue, and after reading this article this morning I also want to read Parting the Waters, Gilead,  and Team of Rivals. 

*                    *                         *                            *                                        *

Little Randoms: 

I keep having crazy dreams of epic proportions lately. I actually have to lie in bed for a few minutes after waking up just to digest them. 

Note on New Year’s Resolutions: so far I have been doing pretty well on them. 

I am really missing some of my old friends. As in I don’t want to briefly chat on Facebook anymore, I want to fight the fear that friendship dissolves over time and distance and actually see some of them again. I feel so out of touch with people who are so important to me. 

I hate, hate, HATE having to filter myself so much online. I can only show my nice, wholesome side here. I think I am going to write a book proposal for a study of how allowances for personal expression varies greatly by profession. You get caught going to a swingers party as a lawyer or accountant or cubicle monkey, no big deal. You do the same as a teacher, you could get fired and/or lose your license for lack of character. I know many employers check Myspace and Facebook profiles before hiring someone, but I have heard of teachers losing their jobs for simply having a Facebook or MySpace. I personally use Facebook, BUT as I recall it used to be that you had to have a “.edu” /college email address to get on Facebook, so I did not think I would ever have to worry about being accused of having inappropriate relationships with students as a result of using it. I have my security set ridiculously tight, and frequently find myself panicking after someone takes a photo of me at any event where there is a cocktail or a glass of wine in front of me…. “Please don’t post that on Facebook!” I frequently find myself pleading with a friend or family member after the flash goes off. It’s nuts. Maybe at some point I will go back to my original life plan of just being a writer.

     Grrr. Any moron with a functioning reproductive system can become a parent for crying out loud, but in order to be a teacher who spends less than an hour a day with the kid in a room full of other kids, you have to practically be a saint. I know that I chose this profession, but it is since I chose this profession that crazy measures have been taken to make sure only the purest of people remain in the profession. Someday I’ll have to post the State of Ohio’s new regulations and guidelines…

That’s it for now. I need to go be productive on this day off (cue snickers about how teachers have nothing to complain about because they have so much “time off”). Must go grade and work on 2nd semester plans…

 

 

Future Leaders of the World

I just finished grading a batch of problem-solution essays written by my twelfth graders. They were to pick a societal problem and propose a detailed solution — this was in reference to our in-depth study of the British Restoration and Eighteenth Century, during which various issues such as poverty, women’s role in society, scientific thought, and government’s obligations to citizens were explored thoroughly in both fiction and non-fiction. 

I am not sure if I should approach this seriously or humorously, so I am just going to present the information throbbing in my brain for readers to do as they will with. I did have many students write adequately thought-out responses, but about seventy percent of them fell into line with examples like these (and I have edited for mechanical problems and rambling issues): 

* One young lady claimed that the debate over abortion could be eradicated if only we would ban legal abortion altogether. I’m pretty sure I have tens of millions of people who would still debate it, sweetie (more on this essay and issues it brings up in a later post…).

* A young man (who sits near her in class, come to think of it) asserted that the problem of underage drinking would be solved if only the legal drinking age was lowered. With a chuckle and a scratch of my head, I suppose this is TECHNICALLY correct… if we got rid of speed limits, we would TECHNICALLY have no speeding violations, either. Just egregious violations of common sense and reverence for human well-being. 

* Another young man wrote (this one I can’t even find mildly amusing, just downright scary) that the biggest problem facing America today is that Barak Obama is about to become president and take away our guns that we need to protect ourselves in the event that we are attacked by the terrorists that he is not going to protect us from. His proposed solution to this perceived crisis? Democrats need to stop disagreeing with republicans. And according to him, if this does not happen there will be rioting and killing. I am kind of curious though… if “our guns” are taken away, will all of this killing be done by strangulation? Stabbing? Hmmm. Maybe I can joke about this after all. 

Anyhow, feel free to comment. I think this demonstrates for me (and all teachers) how important it is that we do our best to model problem solving and logical thinking for our students — in many cases I believe that that is my primary role as an English teacher. I do not only teach literature and writing in a technical sense, but it is my responsibility to use the writing process as a way of cultivating a REASONING process, and reading as less of a transactional experience that an exercise in interactive critical thinking. It honestly frightens me when I see what a large percentage of high school upperclassmen have no sense of logical cause and effect or of thinking for themselves — so much of what I hear from them when we attempt to discuss ISSUES sounds like it has been regurgitated from crappy internet sources or even crappier TV “news” programs. 

Any teachers out there care to comment on how they work to combat this? 

Home Alone

I am spending my first night alone in a year and a half. It’s bizarre. 

I’m not lonely, but I feel a bit weird. Prior to CJ and I moving in together in July of 2007, I lived completely on my own for over two years. I loved it. I did what I wanted when I wanted, decorated everything exactly the way I wanted it, made all of my decisions on my own and organized things how they were the most convenient for myself. I was pretty convinced I’d be happy that way forever if necessary. My friend (at the time) Meg used to absolutely baffle me by staying at her parents’ house every time her husband was away for a few days for work; she claimed she didn’t like being alone in her house.

Then CJ suggested moving in together. In the time that has ensued, pretty much everything in my life has become intertwined in some way or another with his. And I actually like it… it’s nice having a companion, especially one as incredible as him. Today I have kept myself very busy and entertained and I have a full day scheduled tomorrow, but I feel sort of like a limb has fallen asleep or something. It is so, so, so bizarre.

Where in the world is my Magnolia 7330?

Has anyone else noticed that the world has slllooooooowwwed down in the past week? 

I deposited two checks into my bank account on December 26th, and they did not clear until five days later.  Usually they at least show up as “pending” online within a few hours… but no. 

CJ and I both noticed that utility and credit card payments we’d scheduled took a few extra days to be processed. That could have gone badly if we didn’t have them scheduled early. 

And, worst of all, my sewing machine that I ordered on December 27th seems to have been lost in the Bermuda Triangle. It took three days to ship, and then hung around in the good old state of Texas for four days (granted, three different cities in Texas…) before finally leaving dallas at 8:37 PM on January 2nd… and UPS has no more tracking information available online. Apparently my coveted package departed on a plane or truck 40 hours ago and has yet to arrive, well, ANYWHERE. And while this is going on, the poor little Janome Jem I’ve been using is smoking with all of the fervent sewing I’ve been doing trying to finish my Flutterby quilt top before I go back to work tomorrow. I keep gritting my teeth, trying to be patient but knowing that I chucked out almost $400 for something I don’t actually have yet, and that my sewing experience could be much smoother and more satisfying. 

This event has made me think about how spoiled we are. Instant gratification has become the norm — I have become so accustomed to ordering things from Amazon or Zappos and receiving them in a day or two that I actually EXPECT it. For crying out loud, it’s the holiday season. UPS workers and sewing machine store owners are spending time with their families as they SHOULD be. I HAD the disposable $400 to get a sewing machine to work on non-essential craft projects, and have a laptop and blackberry that report to me instantly the global location of a package I am expecting. I live in a world where these things are all possible.

Enough said. I will be patient.

Take a wild guess what will be in this New Year’s Day Post

That’s right. I am going to take a moment to post some resolutions.

Wait! Stop rolling your eyes. I believe it is important to live with intention (and, of course, action on said intention), so why not embrace this moment of resolution obsession? Yes, most people let go of their resolutions a few weeks into the year… so this year I am intentionally making ones that are do-able for me.

To be honest, most of them are already resolutions I’ve made weeks or months ago… this is just a public re-affirmation of them. I can honestly say that I am very happy with life as it is — no drastic changes are needed. A few days ago I was doing some holiday season reminiscing, and realized that for the past handful of years things have been getting progressively better in my tiny dust speck of the universe. I am not religious, but for some reason the word “blessed” keeps popping into my head. I feel very blessed.

I think I could sum up the theme of my resolutions with a (paraphrased) quote from the Buddha that one of my yoga friends mentioned last week: fill yourself so full of love that it seems like space.

So, without further ado, here are some intentions I am setting for myself as earth sets out on yet another merry-go-round ride around the sun:

1.) Respect my body — the memory of all I have put it through, the speculation of what I need it to do for me in the decades to come, and (most importantly), the present moment. I will do this by being mindful of what I put into it, and being consistent with providing for the energy output it craves (i.e. exercise, playfulness, challenge, cuddling).

2.) Strengthen the financial security of my life and my relationship. You know all of those self-help authors you always see interviewed on touchy-feely morning news shows who talk about how people have different ways of communicating and different kinds of basic needs? Well, I suppose there is some truth to what they say. For the past year that we’ve tried to come up with a way of managing money that works for both of us; it has at times been frustrating, embarrassing, and humbling for me (and probably aggravating as all heck for him — I am amazed at his patience, and thankful for his firmness). However, when I look back on it, I think the work we have put into finding a reasonable happy medium in our spending styles has strengthened our communication skills and our knowledge of each other’s goals, outlooks, and needs. In 2009 I will continue to work hard and consistently at implementing the plan we developed, and will enjoy the benefit of a partner who feels more at peace with that part of our shared life (and, of course, the little fringe benefit of having less debt).

3.) Honor my family. Imperfect though our relations may be, I love my mother, father, and sister. They are Where I Am From. I recognize that I cannot make them get along, but I will continue to show love to them and will resist the temptation to use avoidance as defense. I will also be more assertively involved in my niece’s life, and not use strained relations with my sister as an excuse for not seeing her as much as I should.

4.) Read a dozen books for pleasure. Pleasure is a tough thing to assign a number to, but I say a dozen because I want to challenge myself. I laugh that people on LibraryThing.com do 50- and even 75-book challenges yearly, and here I am trying to make it to a dozen. I tend to read lots of magazines, news, and literature that I teach — I want to be certain that I read for reasons other than just professional ones and world citizenship ones. I think a dozen is realistic.

5.) Finish crafty projects that I start. Seriously. I currently have three quilts, two cross stitch things, a few crocheted blankets, and god knows what else that I can’t even think of right now. And I WILL discipline myself to learn how to knit, dammit.

6.) Explore my city. There are so many museums, parks, restaurants, and oddities that I have never been to or have not been to in years. I need to take advantage of these things… I should try to come up with new reasons Cleveland is a good place (other than “Hey, at least it’s not Scranton!”)

I could generate a few more, but am going to stop there. If I come up with too many, I will obviously be less likely to follow them. So there you have it — my intentions for 2009. If you know me in “real” life, please feel free to call me out if you observe me abandoning them.

I have so much hope that this will be a good year for the world, and will not let my general cynicism and skepticism creep into this post. I am feeling very hopeful and will leave it at that.