Ladies, take heed!
Women of childbearing age who are not “in the market” for children should NOT go shopping at Gymboree. It is dangerous. It’s like a cult tradeshow. Where do babies come from, you ask? Apparently from trips to overpriced retailers who sell things that are just… so… damn… cute… that a girl might be inspired to conceive or adopt an infant of her own. The onesies with giraffes! The tiny socks with pandas! The jumpers with duckies! The knit hats! It’s enough to momentarily make an unsuspecting non-mother gush over the idea of having a baby person around. But then, thankfully, she comes to her senses and hears the screaming children in the store, sees the woman with babypuke in her hair, and remembers that she enjoys time to herself and has a perfectly lovely CAT waiting for her at home. Whew. That was a close one.
Needless to say, I just went shopping for a gift for a friend/colleague who is going to have a baby girl in about a week. What a traumatizing experience.
* I know I am trivializing human life here. Just laugh, dammit, it’s lighthearted.
Filed under: drama queen, family, humor, life coming at me fast, random
um. yeah. i don’t go in there anymore.
stay out of baby gap too, because oh. my. gosh. the teeny-tiny sweater vests just about do me in.