Another milestone left in the dust

Yup. I graduated today… again. I am now Little Ms. Thang with a master’s degree. I didn’t think this was a big deal, until last night.

CJ bought me a graduation present. Unexpectedly. An AWESOME graduation present — two place settings of the dishes I always ooh and aah over at Crate & Barrel. Before you think he was just being self-serving there, let me defend the poor fella — he knew it was something I’d never get for myself, and that cooking/entertaining is something I actually enjoy and hope to do more of after being done with school.

After I unwrapped them and went nuts, we went for a walk around the square (our neighborhood rocks, I’m sorry, it really does) to get frozen custard. I started to tear up because it suddenly hit me that I was DONE with school. That I have a graduate degree. It’s something both of my parents have, and most people in my profession get, so I never thought of it as any special feat. But now that I stop and think about it, I DID put a hell of a lot of time, effort, and money into grad school. And I came out of it a little more experienced and more prepared to move onward and upward toward other goals.

I have become accustomed to the schedule of teaching all day, sticking around in my classroom to grade papers for an hour and a half, then going to class for three or four hours and getting home way past my bedtime. On the days I didn’t have class, I was reading for classes or doing research or writing writing writing (on top of prep work and grading for my students). I never thought it was a big deal… but when I stop to think, it is. I postponed many things in life so that I could do this. I let go of certain friendships/relationships because I needed to focus on schoolwork. Friends went on trips while I stayed home for final exams. I kept telling my grandmother that I’d have more time to spend with her as soon as I was done, but she didn’t live that long. I lived in a place I couldn’t stand for two years, partially so that I could be close to campus.

And then to reinforce what CJ pointed out last night, when I brought it up to my mom today, she cried. I was having lunch with her and some other relatives (should I mention it’s HER BIRTHDAY?) and I told her that I graduated today. She was all upset that I didn’t walk, and that I didn’t drag my whole family there to watch. I suppose I just didn’t want to make a fuss. Or maybe I was just tired from all of the reading and writing and researching. I don’t know… but I felt bad.

So there. I’m tired, but I’m educated (whatever that means). I have another piece of paper, and 25,000 more dollars in student loans.

Maybe I should make a big deal. I don’t know. I’m just going to bed.

Maybe in the morning I’ll look further into PhD programs and/or National Board Certification…..